My Little Nest

It's been ages since I updated, I know. It's been all over. hecticity came to visit, and I'm getting ready to be in a friend's wedding, which I don't think will make it that far, but...

I'm going to be going to a poetry slam next week and reading, and April 19-26th I'll be going to see Adam Pascal in concert. Sounds like everything's been fantastic, right?

Yeah, i wish. Nothing's been wrong per se, I just had a major crash, so I'm probably seeing this as far more dark than I should, but a lot of stuff just seems to be going to smash. Granny's becoming neurotic about my weight and pressuring me to get this for the wedding so all of my "lumps and rolls" don't show.

And of course, mid-crash I binged today...and now I really want to relapse. My stupid logic definitely is not helping, since you need to be under a certain BMI to be considered anorectic, and most of the physical symptoms I don't have. (The absence of at least three consecutive menstrual cycles, body weight below 85% of what is expected.) and otherwise, according to most doctors (at least around here) it's a phase. And St. Catherine of Siena was sainted because she refused to eat, it was taken to be religious at the time.

Bad idea, really bad idea, but really incredibly tempting. I am also stressing over the fact that I can't find my Neon Ballroom CD, because one can only listen to 4st. 7lb. so many times on repeat (thank Circe for Youtube). I know, bad bad bad.... Wasted is sitting on my dresser. I haven't touched it yet, but I really haven't stopped thinking about reading it again. Even a really long nap didn't help.

I so suck.

Being ED-NOS sucks. MAkign people worry about you sucks, because then you feel all guilty. Not having insurance that will cover therapy, and too scared too suggest it otherwise? REALLY REALLY sucks. Stupid major medical.

Okay, shutting up now.

Yay! I found the Youtube vid! *shares*

I belong to far too many fanfic comms. I am also too much of a literary geek. I know this how? Because I just had the idea to set up a Shakespeare comm...

Now don't go, what the fuck are you smoking yet, let me explain.

A comm for fanfic or fan art, with loads of options for prompt tablwes, with all the tables being taken from Shakespeare. Like you could chose a prompt table of 7, 25, 50 or 100 prompts, and the tables could have options

Like there would be a general 50 and a general 100 table with a mish-mash from everywhere

A 50 and 100 table from the sonnets

And likewise from the rest of the plays, with choices between tables of 7, 25, and 100.

And 7 for The Rape of Lucrece and Venus & Adonis, etc.

I'm mental, aren't I? No one would want to do that, right? I mean, even if it was multi-fandom...

Tell me I'm insane.

Apparently I'm going to hell. This is according to three of my cousins who have been trying to convince me for the past--oh--two hours that I'm a horrible person because I forgot it was Holy Thursday.

Yeah, let's just forget everything else like the fact that I haven't been to church since Lent, that I'm technically no longer a member, the witchiness, my immense list of kinks, and I'm going to hell because I went to rehearsal on Holy Thursday (for an opera that's based on a story from the book of Judges) and that's why I'm going to Hell.

Grrr...yeah, so skipping church tonight. Someone cheer me up. Somehow, dealing with illogical family members always depresses me. (Not to mention that according to Exodus they should go to hell because of their witchiness.)

Think I can make up for it by watching The Boondock Saints in the morning and going tomorrow to hear the decadently morbid dark sad tale of Holy Friday?

Oh, well, if I'm going to hell anyway...*starts working on vamp!Blood/vamp!Fire fic*

Thing The First: Yvonne DeCarlo passed away. This makes me sad. No more Lily Munster in the world. *cries*

Thing The Second: I got sick in the tail end of Carmen's run! Luckily, I got better in time for closing night, which went well.

Thing The Third: Ah, writing. I've got a non-fandom piece boiling in my head as well as two fics for my Buffy/Faith 50_darkfics claim. Now to actually write them.

Thing The Fourth: Joe King I am mad at you! You missed the whole run and it's your fault I even auditioned. :p

Thing The Fifth: Sorcha, kindly get your coz to stop proposing k? plzthx.

Thing The Sixth: My doppelganger has officially broken my brain. Not only has she gotten a myspace, but she has put her orientation down as 'lesbian' and described herself as a 'crazy-ass lesbian.' Okay...WTF? Just...broken...

Thing The Seventh: I love and miss al my internet buds! Especailly hippo and evil twin!

Good news! Da got a deer. It's a doe, and from what I hear, pretty good size, so we should have enought to eek through wiinter.
Bad News: The butcher shop is no longer skinning them. :P Stupid butcher shop. So Da and Granny did it, apparently.
And, just to fill up space and because I feel like it: A meme stolen from sailormewmew ♥ sailormewmew

( Soundtrack to My Life )

Warning: Car-Girl-ness ahead

Da got a new (read: used) truck today! He likes used ones because it means it takes less time to kill them. (Not kidding--you should see the lemons he ends up with when he's done with them.)

Anyway, truck! Gorgeous, really. 2002 Ford F-150 Triton, Extended Cab, 5 speed, 8 ft. bed, V.8 engine, and it's either, depending on whether you ask me or Granny, a brilliant blood red or candy-apple red. (Three guesses who said what and the first two don't count!) Of course, if you ask Da, it's red. It also has a CD player (Woohoo!) and best of all...

They changed the configuration under the hood so that one can actually get to the fun bits that make it go without tearing the thing half to Hades! *Celebrates* Not that I really minded all that much...except when the fan belt broke on a coz's 1997 F-150 and I used a pair of pantyhose to get us to the nearest auto parts store and home...

So yay!
/car-girl-ness>

On another subject, hecticity needs to get online so we can work on our wonderfully dark, snarky, and yet romantic Morag/Draco story. I want to write more of it....*whinges* it's fun.

Also, what is with FanFiction.net? Dedalus Diggle has fic posted about him but there's not a single fic about Morag? What the bloody hell, people?

Okay, F-List. I just got off the phone with my dear Aunt Branwen--who called to tell me that when I'm abroad next week...(yay boats!) she'll be giving me my Yule present early, which would be great...except...

She's giving me a pair of gold bonding rings. Poesy ones at that! Okay, first of all, I never wear gold (which she knows) it just doesn't happen.

For those of you who don't know, bonding rings used to be used as wedding rings or to symbolise year-long handfastings. Nowadays some Fam. Trad. families still use them as promise rings, wedding bands, engagement rings, etc.

So...what is the point of giving me bonding rings when I don't have a girlfriend, or a boyfriend, or even that many friends? The logic, I ask you...

So, I (politely) suggested this to Aunt Branwen, who told me that, and I quote, "True love comes when you least expect it"

Uh huh...thank you, Yoda.

And then she suggested I needed to stop pining after Giomannach. Yeah, Hullo? Not pining. I am in no way pining for him. It was almost five years ago. Geez. Make me some weepy Lady of Shallot why don'tcha.

So, getting given bonding rings with no romantic entanglements on the horizon--completely pointless or is Aunt Branwen right?

So anyway, the weekend was great. Sat. we went to both the Fall Festival at the church and Uncle Scott's Harvest Moon Party.

I went as a witch in this pretty crushed velvet dress. I wanted to go as a kitty but I wasn't allowed too. So, yes, I went as a witch. (And this is different from the other 364 days how?)

Sun. We went up to Shippensburg to see Aunt M. I hadn't called ahead because last week when I did that I didn't get to go and all my excitement was for naught.

So at 9:30 I walk up to Harley only to get there and find out that it was Fall Break. Translation: No one there.

Bah humbug.

Habanera will be the death of me. I have Once Upon A Dream stuck in my head. That is all.

I hate doctors. I know I've said it before but I really do. The idiots now want to send me up to Pittsburgh to have my heart looked at and stay in observation for a few weeks! Weeks, I ask you.

I ahve no desire whatsoever to stay in a hospital for two weeks, being poked, prodded, cut up, and tested in a city that's hundreds of miles away from my home. Thank you no!

Especially with doctors and nurses who don't know me, and long stints in recovery rooms with no TV, no music, no books, no pencil and paper, or anything wherewith I can entertain myself, while doctor's discreetly watch through one-way glass to make sure all goes well.

Now, I'd love to visit Pittsburgh, but not under those conditions. I'd like to go up, maybe see Laura and the rest of my friends who live near there, but just to be poked and prodded by some specialist? No sodding way!

My medical team (dunderheads that they are) can just kiss my lucky irish arse.

Sod them.

Stupid bloody insomnia...*growl* I know I don't sleep much, but damn it, some would be nice! I'm thisclose to trying to go to the evil Drs. to get something so I can sleep like a semi-normal person, but my hatred of Drs. is stopping me.

All in all, the 4th was nice. Ate yummy hamburgers and graham cracker pie with family while watching the craziness that is Passions because Buzz can't eat without the blessed TV on in the next room. Of course, it confuses the hell out of Da who has never seen this before.
Da: Is this a soap opera or what?
Buzz: Yeah.
Da: it's a bit off isn't it?
Me: Yup. It's mental.
Granny: They had two crazy women in a Christmas ornament once.
Da: Uh huh
And then I had to quote my favourite line ever, stupidly.
Me: Once, Tabitha, the blond lady there, was leaving her daughter with those people, there, and she had the greatest line. "Don't forget to read her her Harry Potter before bedtime! She just loves that Lord Voldemort."
*silence* Then...the fury that is the extended family begins the infamous and many times gone over 'Harry Potter debate.'
Me: *headdesk* *headdesk* *headdesk* and a *facepalm* for good measure.
You'd think I'd know by now that when the big extended family is over to not bring up medicine, science, Council-crap, anime, or Harry Potter. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid Calypso!

Once the famil left, still squabbling, Da returned to the work he was doing on Granny's front portico-thing. When they had finished, it was 6:00 abnd I popped out of Buzz's computer room to see what the remaining v. close family was doing and ended up staying to watch reruns (obviously) of Green Acres and The Munsters we then had dinner, burned brain cells watching game shows and then Da set off the (sadly all legal) fireworks that we had bought. It was fun, all in all. Just as we finish and leave the Covenstead the sky opens up and it's all thunder and lightining. (Truly wicked) It was nice of Mama Nature to wait for us to finish.
And now? Insomnia. I'm going to go check my RPing journal now...see if anyone new has joined or the Mods have announced anything. maybe that will put me to sleep.

My phone bill is sadly really really bad this month. And not just my cell phone, oh no, at home too. Apparently everyone in my life that resides overseas has thought up a reason to call me. This is not helping my 'I-want-to-travel-damn-it-itis' I'm this close to killing the next overseas person who rings me by wrapping a cord around their throat, tying it to a willow tree and dropping them.

Well that helped. i swear if I think up punishments and/or ways of homicide it makes me feel better.

I gave into the grandmother and have gone on her diet that she found. I am bloody amazed she agreed to use it! When I first read about it I thought this is way to much sodding food, but in fact, its not. It's very high carb, low fat, and extremely calorie restrictive. It's really a perfect ED diet, because who can argue with being able to get away from the table after a piece of toast as opposed to homemade food extravaganza Granny has daily.
That said? I've managed to gain weight! Granny says "Just don't get on the scale."

Yeah. Right. Like that's possible. I've weighed myself 3 times a day, average, for the past five years. And she says 'just don't step on the scale' How is that bloody possible when you put so much of your self-worth on those little numbers? Its not. Of course, this has thrown me even more back into the mirror-covered hell that is ED-NOS. I was staring at the Stackers in Wal-Mart for a good 2 minutes, knowing she'd never let me take them. She's all gung-ho about every other pill, vitamin, quick-fix, if it means no doctors, but you say 'diet pill' and she hits the roof. Sod that. I'm eighteen now. What she doesn't know won't kill her. I'm sick of my body.

On another topic, I posted a new story on Fanfiction.net, I wrote it for a challenge here on LJ, but it spun out into something I really liked.

I played paintball today, and my leg guard got hit so badly it left a bit of a scratch and a medium sized bruise on my leg. That was wicked.

When I got back from paintball, washed my hair, my grandmother calls. the one kid she still watches is there and she came in the door asking for me. I swear I have a groupie. And she's worse then my cousins who just hang around because, well, I'm heiress. Mo, this one tries to talk like me, sit next to (almost on top of me) at all times. She asked her mum for a collar like mine and according to both her mum and grandmother has talked about nothing but me since a week ago. Eh... when will people figure out that I'm not the best of influences?

Buzz showed me an article in the paper a few weeks ago about how a man killed and dismembered his brother with an electric saw and drove over four counties dropping pieces all around. Now it's 10:00am and I've woken up like 20 mins before this, so the sensible part of my brain that usually censors what I say vs. what i think isn't awake yet.
Me: Cool. Though he should've burned the fingerprints off first, and a saw's a little cliche.
Grandmother: How can you say something like that? It's a tragedy! A man's dead!
Me: Heh, Yeah, right, of course. Stupid me.
Buzz: Y'know you shouldn't tell people things like that. Keep your opinion to yourself.
Me: You showed it to me. You wanted my reaction. A guy's dead. So are lots of others. It doesn't effect me. I didn't know him, he isn't someone I care about or hate. He's a statistic.
This is why we shouldn't talk to me before I fully wake up. Bad idea unless you want Calypso: Uncensored. Circe, that sounded like a Pay-Per-View show. Oh well. Give me $5.35 or however much Pay-Per-View costs and I'll give you my opinions dark and morbid as they may be.

Oh...sweet Circe, I am such an idiot. I went over to my Uncle Scott's for a memorial day party, and within the first 1/2 hour I made an idiot of myself. Luann, his new wife, comments that Courtney (his daughter) is grounded.

Now, it's been ages since I've heard of anyone being grounded. It's so odd I say the first things that pops into my head "Hmm...what she do?" Yeah...I'm that stupid. The second I said that I knew I had screwed up. Foot, mouth, mouth, foot.

Luann: It's something we'd rather not talk about.
Me: *blush* Oh! Of course! I'm sorry, it's none of my businesss! You know what's best, of course, I'm so sorry.

Ah yes, quite eloquent wasn't I? Babble, ramble, blush. And Da is staring laser beams into the centre of the back of my skull.

I am such an idiot