My Little Nest

Aren't I the handy little dyke. Drea has been looking for shoujo ai/yuri manga for a school project (damn I want this project so, I'm linking stuff for her.

The manga list from the http://www.shoujoai.com forum
http://shoujoai.wingdreams.net/forum/topic_show.pl?tid=31746

The lilicious site, which I love for ever and ever and ever:

http://www.lililicious.net/

and their project guide:

http://www.lililicious.net/allprojects.php

List of the "Strawberry" (shoujo-ai) manga line that Seven Seas is publishing:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seven_Seas_Entertainment#.22Strawberry.22_.28yuri_manga.29_line

Hopefully this helps, doll!

*goes to reread Sailor Moon and R.O.D.*

Okay, so I went up to Ship last weekend, which was brilliant even if it wasn't quite long enough of a stay. Vagina Monologues went well, except for the one night when I actually smoked a fag because I was in so much pain and April actually let me. But, anyway, I got to spend some much needed time with Roomie and everyone.

I bought fuzzy handcuffs ^.^

New desktop computer also, so yay.

Today Da and I met with the bloke from OVR about funding driving lessons and/our job and/or placement. I got to admit all my weaknesses to a complete stranger. You can tell how thrilled I was about that. >.<

Umm...writing and RP-ing is taking over my otherwise boring life, and ficathon is seriously trying to kill me or something. Want to know why? One of the prompts this week? Bloodletting. *headdesk*

Makes me wish hecticity was around, if for nothing but laughing over the irony of it.

irishbabe3110 Is trying to drag me back into the circuit more often...and I'm actually considering it. Someone slap me?

What am I thinking? I know I'm a glutton for attention and love being on the stage, but why am I killing myself over trying to get Mon Coeur S'Ouvre A Ta Voix fperfect for an audition for Samson et Delila? I got over being in opera. I did, really. I know I'm a mezzo and that means if I were to get serious about it I'd be playing the witches, bitches and pants. So why am I getting neurotic about this? Gah... *headdesk*

Also: EVIL TWIN! HIPPO! WERE ARE YOU TWO? I MISS YOU! Come out come out wherever you are....Though you did that all ready didn't you?

ANNALISA we have to work on fic-ness! And also figure out where we're going with the Blood/Fire romance fic, y'know, if we're going to eventually get them to the funny scene we were dicussing the other day.

( Cut for the sake of those who have no desire to hear about anything magicky or otherwise pagan-y. )

I really should be going to bed right now.

I really should not be scheming up ways to make the car's trunk as creepy as possible for the church's parking lot trick-or-treating.
(Skeleton gets to come out and play...the poor thing hadn't been unpacked since Ship.)

I really should be rehearsing Habanera.

I really should not be applying to another RP.

I really should stop screaming at people who piss me off in Gaelic. (But what's the fun in that?)

I really should not be looking at Merchantes corsets up for auction... (But they're pretty! And shiny!)

I really should not be spamming with a meme stolen from axelia

( 6 Weird Things )

So anyway, the weekend was great. Sat. we went to both the Fall Festival at the church and Uncle Scott's Harvest Moon Party.

I went as a witch in this pretty crushed velvet dress. I wanted to go as a kitty but I wasn't allowed too. So, yes, I went as a witch. (And this is different from the other 364 days how?)

Sun. We went up to Shippensburg to see Aunt M. I hadn't called ahead because last week when I did that I didn't get to go and all my excitement was for naught.

So at 9:30 I walk up to Harley only to get there and find out that it was Fall Break. Translation: No one there.

Bah humbug.

Habanera will be the death of me. I have Once Upon A Dream stuck in my head. That is all.

Meds suck. Especially when they change you up to a shot weekly and it makes you sick-ish for hours afterwards. After sleeping/being ill until 5:15-ish today I went upstairs, went home, and started to feel okay. Now, though? my head hurts like a bugger.

So? What am I doing? Sitting at Da's computer role-playing. I swear, my muses have taken over my mind and refuse to stay in their vault. Maybe this means I'm in one too many games? ...Nah.

Roz is the worst of the bunch though...she needs to switch to decaf.

And good news! The Squick Amber Challenge has been postponed so my squickfic (still untitled) won't be late.

Speaking of fic I really, really want axelia to finish her Seiya-Yaten-are-under-a-spell fic. Mainly becaise the idea is great, but also because Lexi rocks.

I made a new dress yesterday. 'Twas fun, I did it mostly by machine, but I broke down and did a bunch of rouching by hand. (It was a Beryl costume and they wanted it to not just be a boring straight dress, so I rouched the bodice.) I got $25.00 for it too. I had convinced myself that I was going to do one entire dress by machine, but alas and alack, I failed. I think I have too much fun sewing by hand.

I also finally managed to get the latest disc of my mix burned so I'm happy with that. The 4th is Granny's birthday so I'm racking my brain at what to get here. Of course, she's no help.

I hate this. princessstarr, sailormewmew, velvetbonsai, dreamgirl18, April, and everyone else from there are back at Ship and I am stuck here.

This royally blows. *sulks* I need some Busted to make me feel better. *prances off to YouTube* Helps, but this still sucks.

Why does my health have to suck so much? Everyone else is at college, being healthy, and I'm here. stuck somewhere between healthy and sick as hell.

Oh, and want to know what my new assignment is? Taking my groupie on and off the bus some days. Wow. Thrilling. I can hardly contain myself.

You know what? Fuck it. I'm done wishing. Order-girls, who has the sodding calendar for the circuit? I'm done sitting at home and sulking. I'm restless, and if I can't be with my friends at college then I'm going to party my sodding brains out here.

Where's my Rob Zombie? *prances off again* Better.

Sorcha, give me my earrings back! Micheal, get me on the calendar, Natalya, give me back my bloody Rammstein album.

Okay Brit people, I know your tendency for jumping on planes randomly for vasrious trips. And I also realise that I'm being paranoid and worrying over nothing, but still, you people read this thing, so please, comment and tell me you're okay.

Please

Clarissa, Edmund, Ewan, Aislinn, Charlotte, Kat, Emmeline, Loki, Desmind, Devlin and everybody else~~This means you!

And any of my Order-girls whoi happen to be over there as well. I'm trying my hardest not to worry.

I think I just had one of the best birthdays ever.

April came down to visit me on Tuesday and then came up with the brilliant idea to kidnap me for a few days to get me the hell out of Dodge. I was so grateful. So I ran downstairs, threw some clothes into an overnight bag, and we got out of there.

April's family is wicked. I had a great time. April and I went and played pool the first night, and we're both about just as bad as each other. Wed. we went to the mall and I met her friend/ex-roomie Sam and we went to a mall. It was so much fun ven though my wallet had fallen out of my bag and I didn't have any $ with me at the mall... April was good enough to budge me up enouhg to get a blouse and a yummy frozen coffee. Then we went back to Sam's and then to April's where we ate Domino's (yet another thing I had never had that I apparently had too) and watched Saw II. Thurs. morning I spent with her mum and dad talking about books and guns until her dad had to go to a meeting. It was fun and they gave me some more books. Books make me happy. ^.^

Then April's mum and I went to the thrift store which was nifty. It was huge it was like three thrift shops in one.

It was fun. April and I headed back after she got a shower and the family fun time at the Covenstead was well...family fun time. Buzz's mystery present was hidden in her room...v. obviously I might add, and was a snake goddess statue.

I think Granny thought it was ugly. I on the other hand was like *squee* snake goddess!

Yeah...I'm weird.

And I am going to go now...because I'm amusing myself by teasing Fayth

I'm such a bitch

And I think Fayth would agreee at this point

I love making money...even if I make money in a way that's not quite legal. Poker is my friend, but that isn't what this post is about. As everyone should know it's World Cup season, which means...betting! Now, I love betting, especially since I seem to be so bloody good at it, but some are just no-brainers.

For example, a friend of mine who knows nothing about soccer bet me that the US would win their first game. Uh huh...right, and that would be...when the 7th circle gets an ice-skating rink. Now, someone more scrupulous than I might have seen fit to inform her that the US mens team absolutely blows, but, being me, I saw no reason to, especially since she put $20.00 on them.

Now it's only a 20, but, still, it's cash! And it was an easy bet...even if they were only playing the Czech Republic. Of course, this isn't the only bet I've made, and so far, altogether I've made $79 on the games.

Yes, I know, betting bad. Yes, I realise I could'e lost the money, but I'm not exactly a good person, nor am I one to let oppurtunities pass. Risks make life fun, after all.

There are sometimes I love my manic-depressive moods and other times when I hate thim with the fires of a thousand sons, however it's a bit odd when that happens in the same day! Yesterday my groupie came, as mentioned, and I really wasn't in a mood to deal with her, which as my close friends no, is a pretty shitty mood, considering how much I love kids.

Unfortunately, the groupie loves movies I can't stand. Ones that I sat through once, and as sitting through "The Emperors New Groove" again yesterday I was tempted to gouge out my eyeballs with a wooden spoon. Of course, not only was I in a mood but I was completely manic as well, which did not bode well when Da and I spent an hour and a half in Circuit City trying to figure out what's the matter with my laptop, with no luck.

And as I head back to the Covenstead, of course the manic energy doesn't start to die down...no...it has to pick up speed. Needless to say sleep was not my friend, let alone the fact that I completely had a complete panic, because my damn brain wouldn't SHUT UP and ended up reding 3 Shakespeare plays in the middle of the night to shut the damn thing off...

Meanwhile, a friend calls and she's having a schizophrenic freak-out because her girlfriend of a year is cheating on her...and she's calling me so I can calm her down. Well, I suppose when it rains, it pours, for all outsane people.

And the groupie will be cropping up in about 15 minutes...joy...

So, I have success to report, to those of you who care. After gaining weight on my grandmother's suggested diet, thanks to the lovely yellow diet pills I have lost not only what I gained, but two pounds plus. (Happy Calypso)

Oh, and my Detention femmeslash fic is getting more encouragement then I thought possible, but that might just be because I x-posted it to hp_girlslash.

Well, mst run, my groupie's here. Must run.

I really don't understand people's obsession with light and daytime. Let alone asking me really awkward questions early in the morning. To set the stage for you, I went to bed at 6:00am this morning. At 8:00am My dear cousin Brianna comes down to my nice, dark dungeon room where I am sleeping, slams open the door and turns on the light! (According to Granny I yowled so loud I startled the dog.)
Brianna: Wake up! Wake up you slugabed!
Me: *Growl* No. *Pulls covers up higher*
Brianna: Get up! I need to ask you something.
Me: Sod off. *snarl*
Brianna: But I can't ask anyone else.
Me: Turn off the damn light and get off my legs!
Brianna: But...
Me: I'll listen if you shut the bloody light off. Light an effing candle or something.
Light goes out, two candles lit.
Brianna: Now will you listen?
Me: Do I have a choice? Yes, I'm listening.
Brianna: Well, It's about Dominic.
Now Dominic is an old friend of mine, circa Order of Medea bad-girl period. I'm not sure why, but he had fallen hard for my goody goody cousin about three years ago, now they're engaged and so cute that it makes you want to barf.
Me: What about 'im?
Brianna: Well...you see...this is hard...I mean...
Me: Spit it out or leave me sleep!
Brianna: He wants, well. he wants to use a knife in foreplay!
Me: Uh huh...so? What are we talking? Bloodplay or just light bondage?
This doesn't surprise me in the least. I've known Dominic too long. However, i can see why this would upset Miss Look-at-me-I'm-Sandra-Dee
Brianna: Blood...play?
Me: So? Don't do it if your not comfortable.
Brianna: But I want to make him happy and he wants to do it and all his other ideas have been fun!
Now I've got an image in my head that I really didn't want, so I sit up, and rush to cover her mouth, since she's becoming hysterical and telling me way more than I ever wanted to know about their private lives.
Me: If I take my hand off you'll listen to me, right?
Brianna: *Nod*
Me: You trust Dominic, right?
Brianna: *Nod*
Me: And you know what I'm probably going to say, right?
Brianna: *Pause* *Nod*
Me: And the main reason your asking me is because you want someone to say it's okay, right?
Brianna...
Me: You could've asked your sister, but she'd be horrified, and say that you daren't think about it, right?
Brianna: *Nod*
Me: *Removing hand from mouth* Then if you want to do it, and you trust him, which Freya knows you should, since you're marrying the git, you don't need me to tell you if it's okay. It's your choice, but y'know I couldn't care less.
Brianna: *Throws herself at me in a bone-crushing hug* Oh thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
Me: *Pats her on back* Okay, yeah, love you too, get off!

And of course after this incredibly awkward `conversation there was no way in Hades I was getting back to sleep, so I got up. Why must people ask me crap like this when I'm half-asleep? Especially when they already know what they're going to do? When I went upstairs granny said she was shocked that I hadn't killed or at least maimed darling Brianna, to which I had to reply that the day was young and maybe once I had my bath and some milk I'd think of a suitible punishment...

Which, of course, I did. *smirk*

My phone bill is sadly really really bad this month. And not just my cell phone, oh no, at home too. Apparently everyone in my life that resides overseas has thought up a reason to call me. This is not helping my 'I-want-to-travel-damn-it-itis' I'm this close to killing the next overseas person who rings me by wrapping a cord around their throat, tying it to a willow tree and dropping them.

Well that helped. i swear if I think up punishments and/or ways of homicide it makes me feel better.

I gave into the grandmother and have gone on her diet that she found. I am bloody amazed she agreed to use it! When I first read about it I thought this is way to much sodding food, but in fact, its not. It's very high carb, low fat, and extremely calorie restrictive. It's really a perfect ED diet, because who can argue with being able to get away from the table after a piece of toast as opposed to homemade food extravaganza Granny has daily.
That said? I've managed to gain weight! Granny says "Just don't get on the scale."

Yeah. Right. Like that's possible. I've weighed myself 3 times a day, average, for the past five years. And she says 'just don't step on the scale' How is that bloody possible when you put so much of your self-worth on those little numbers? Its not. Of course, this has thrown me even more back into the mirror-covered hell that is ED-NOS. I was staring at the Stackers in Wal-Mart for a good 2 minutes, knowing she'd never let me take them. She's all gung-ho about every other pill, vitamin, quick-fix, if it means no doctors, but you say 'diet pill' and she hits the roof. Sod that. I'm eighteen now. What she doesn't know won't kill her. I'm sick of my body.

On another topic, I posted a new story on Fanfiction.net, I wrote it for a challenge here on LJ, but it spun out into something I really liked.

I played paintball today, and my leg guard got hit so badly it left a bit of a scratch and a medium sized bruise on my leg. That was wicked.

When I got back from paintball, washed my hair, my grandmother calls. the one kid she still watches is there and she came in the door asking for me. I swear I have a groupie. And she's worse then my cousins who just hang around because, well, I'm heiress. Mo, this one tries to talk like me, sit next to (almost on top of me) at all times. She asked her mum for a collar like mine and according to both her mum and grandmother has talked about nothing but me since a week ago. Eh... when will people figure out that I'm not the best of influences?

Buzz showed me an article in the paper a few weeks ago about how a man killed and dismembered his brother with an electric saw and drove over four counties dropping pieces all around. Now it's 10:00am and I've woken up like 20 mins before this, so the sensible part of my brain that usually censors what I say vs. what i think isn't awake yet.
Me: Cool. Though he should've burned the fingerprints off first, and a saw's a little cliche.
Grandmother: How can you say something like that? It's a tragedy! A man's dead!
Me: Heh, Yeah, right, of course. Stupid me.
Buzz: Y'know you shouldn't tell people things like that. Keep your opinion to yourself.
Me: You showed it to me. You wanted my reaction. A guy's dead. So are lots of others. It doesn't effect me. I didn't know him, he isn't someone I care about or hate. He's a statistic.
This is why we shouldn't talk to me before I fully wake up. Bad idea unless you want Calypso: Uncensored. Circe, that sounded like a Pay-Per-View show. Oh well. Give me $5.35 or however much Pay-Per-View costs and I'll give you my opinions dark and morbid as they may be.

WARNING: POETRY. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

I know some of you will know what this is about; others won't have a clue...there'll be a little explanation at the end.

Last One Standing

You know it wasn’t meant to be this way
I wasn’t supposed to see this day
I wasn’t meant to be the last
How did eight so quickly fade into the past

What the hell happened to our plan
I’m not sure if I can
Survive like some solitary exile
I try to look to the future but I taste bile

What happened to young death being rare
Was it something in the stagnant air
Or was it something we pushed away
Something our own personalities betray

Corpses and memories pull
And why is everything so pitiful
As always I am pushing for what I can’t be
But for once I wish I didn’t have to see

What we’ve always been a part of
And I wonder if She’s watching from above
‘Cause isn’t this what we make deities for?
Our suffering and mourning in so-called glory.

I wish it wasn’t like this
I wish all of you hadn’t found that abyss
As always, I’m selfish and self-centred
But I’m done playing this game—so demented


Anyway: Short explanation, a very close frienfd of mine passed away recently--the eighth one to die out of the nine of us, which kind of leaves me a bit at a loss, resulting in this particular poem.

Ah, I have returned to the dorm after a weekend at home. Friday Da came and I went home, trying to sleep in the Blazer, but kept getting woken up by people either calling me (April, Macha, Laimia and kill_macewan)or some idiot thinking he could outrrun a tractor trailer and failing miserably. I ate some yummy rice my Granny made and then watched Most Haunted and wrote. It had been forever since I actually sat down and wrote something for myself.

Saturday was Stoakesay Castle's Annual Faire and as always, it was great! Well, most of it anyway. The aura-reader gave me basiczally the same lecture I've gotten since 2002! I got it the first three times lady, you know me, you read for me every year and I'm sick and tired of hearing the samr damn thing. I actually got pretty brassed off about it at the time because she deliberately brought up several of my Order-mates who passed away and accused me of 'closing my heart to love and friendship.' My reaction? Yeah right, lady, you know what, just sod off. But of course I couldn't say that while sandwiched in between Da and Buzz. Right after this I circled the room again and a large oval piece of bloodstone set in a silver braid pendant caught my eye. I continued shopping, checking out cloaks and corsets and catching up with cousins, aquantinces and old friends I hadn't seen in months sometimes the year from the last Stoakesay Faire. After a third time of circling the room like a...buzzard...I went back to the table with the bloodstone and I convinced my Da to let me have the $40 to buy it for my collar. It took some cajoling, but he agreed and handed me two twenties. I walked over to the lady running the table, a Bern by clan, and handed her the box containing the pendant. "I'd like this please." I said v. nicely.

She starts a spiel about the qualities of the piece...aligning you with your bloodline, your clan, staunch wounds, stop bleeding, prevent injury, aid in invisibility charms, acrruing wealth, money, power and helping to assure victory...blah blah blah. I wait about two minutes and finally say. "I realise all of this, can I have it." It seems she finally looks at me, or something triggered in her mind and she flushed and says: "Oh, of course, that pendant I made myself...it's $40 dollars, but with 20% off it comes to 30-something." I don't remember what it was exactly but I was surprised by this, obviously.

Me: Is there a sale of some kind?
Her: No no, we just like to keep people like you happy.
Me: *smirk* "Okay.
Her: Esther will get your change. *whispers to cashier*
Me: *Takes change* and prances over to where Da and Buzz are standing, shocked.
Da: Was there a sale?
Me: No. *Cheshire cat grin*
Buzz: *Laughs* Did you threaten her?
Me: No.
Buzz: Your reputation strikes again.

Of course now the pendant is on my collar and I am very happy. Wee bloodstone... So we eat dinner, leave late, and drop Buzz off. Da and I go play pool and for the 3rd time in as many years I beat Da! Woohoo...celebration time! So I popped back over to Granny's for the night, go to bed, wake up early and go over Buzz's new 401(k), Watch Harry Potter POA, went shopping for fishy stuff at Wal-Mart (Because Laura (princessstarr)have new fishys. So I come back to the dorm and after watching the pilot of 'Lost' which Laura has now addicted me to, I run into Nisse and Laina--they have a gift for me--a 3rd fishy.

So now we have 3 fishies who need names...Yay fishies.

I intensely dislike my situation right now. I have 3 papers, not all of which I'll be able to finish, finals I'm bloody positive I'm going to flunk, and happen to be in a constant low right now. I did get some sleep yesterday night, which makes my total for this week 9 hours since Sun. These sodding papers have me going completely spare. It feels like banging my head up against a concrete wall would be more productive. I feel as if my brain is going to explode. I've skipped class for the past two days to work on the sodding things because they are such a gigantic deal. One is a 25% of my grade for that class.

For all of you who knew or have heard me talk about Koda and Dakota, they've both died and I have absolutely no time to mourn, because if I do I'm just going to trap myself deeper. Koda went and got herself shot (though I rather think it was her dimwitted, imbecilic brother's fault) and Dakota died from her 3rd heart attack at the age of 22. I haven't seen them in years, not since I first joined Council, but I did keep track of them. And to the rest of my old friends who had turned they're backs on me after I joined up with Council, because I know you still read this even though you never comment, I keep up with you as well. I know I'm not someone you feel you can associate w/ anymore, after all, I was pretty vehement about Council in my day, but ask Sorcha or Lamaia, I've never betrayed you.

The drag show is on the 8th, and I'm happy about that, I'm excited about the show, really I am, and it's bloody hilarious that it falls on Mum's birthday, but at the same time, that fact is not helping my mindset. It's hard to believe it's been 10 yrs since she died, because sometimes it feels like just days, or even hours. It feels like someone's stabbed me when I think about it (And I know how that feels)and I wish I could just feel numb, nonexistant. Like I could just go to sleep w/ no dreams and never wake up. That said, of course I'll never let anyone see that much of it, after all I have an image to keep up, and most people who read this know how important that is. Showing emotions like those are weakness, a weakness is something you exploit and use. Therefore, pretty masks and doll parts, after all, the show of your life must go on!

I am happy. Now, please don't look to shocked. I came to a realisation today and that is the fact that I actually have friends.

Yes, that's right, friends.

Not close cousins or aquantinces who don't want to get on my bad side, or even people who are nice to me just because they want to be close to the heiress of the Russell line, actual friends. This is an odd situation and I don't know quite how to handle it. I don't think I've ever really had friends, or at least not my own age. People twice my age, yes, ickle kids, yes, but not roughly around my age.

Even Ecstasy, whom I considered the closest thing I had to a friend, may she rest in peace, admitted to me after copious amounts of liquor that she was terrified of me. Now, however, I have people who like me (I think) hang out with me, and are just plain nice to me because of my personality, flawed as it is. This is new, slightly frightening and alo wicked.

I've never been able to say tht before. Most of my so-called friends have either stabbed me in the back, left me once I joined Council, or continue to be pleasant while talking shite behind my back. I'm trying to think of exceptions to this rule--Butterfly's my friend, but I know I scare her sometimes, she's told me so. And Giomannach...

Well, I doubt anyone could say Giomannach and I ever really *got along.* We started out hating each other, and that moved on to some semblance of a relationship, but even that started becaudse I chained the prat to a *chair* because he was going to go off and get himself killed. Sure he annoyed me teasingly, and used to deliberately bait me, but he also didn't like ym outlook on things, too dark for him, and I've never been quite sure whether or not he ever really, truly lovd me, but that's quite another tale.

I think it may be because of the different enviroment of college. All the other friends I've *tried* to make have been in either:
A. Christian School
B. Hereditary families
Let's guess at how that worked out, shall we? *crickts*
Yeah...

So, after the S.A.L.E meeting I went out with a bunch of people to B&A, as has become usual after the meetings. Missa, June and I were discussing going to a gay bar in Harrisburg that has an under-21 section. T jumped in and we were trying to work out when we could all go together.I noticed I had my elbows on the table, my napkin still rolled around my unused silver, and I was slouching in my seat. I realised that my behaviour around these people changed completely. Finishing school and propr etiquette go out the window. I was shocked, bloody floored when I found his out. Never, except with my immediate family had I ever been so relaxed, unworried about seeming a little too sarcastic, my sense of humour a little too dark.

I know I'm a bitch, that I have just a bit of the dark sinister to my character, but with the people from S.A.L.E, and June I don't have to put up false fronts. I can't help but wonder why this is so different, why I feel infinitely more free with them than most people. I'm not sure what to do now, but I think it'd be interesting to find out. You know, it used to be that the most important thing to me, after my family, *was* my reputation, was the fact that people were terrified of me, I always found it humourous when people would trip over their words in front of me or refuse to look me in the eyes. It was amusing. I also enjoyed it when people would fall over themselves to impress me or make me happy. It's just what it's always been for me. It was that way for Mum, it's still that way for Da and Granny, and for me as well.

I remember this one time when Jasper was hanging out with me when I was in a particularly bad mood, right after I had failed a test and he took my blood-flavoured lollypop. Let's just say word got around fast after that incident that one did not come between la belle ophidia regina and her blood-flavoured lollypops.

Understand, I'm not going to change, but somehow things like that seem less-important, more trivial than ever before and I'm unsure of how to deal with it. I suppose I just have to take it one day at a time.
After all, as it says on the Russell crest;
Che Sara Sara

Well, I had a day and a half, or so it seems. I had my first headshrinker appointment this morning. It went fairly okay, it was mainly a get-to-know-you session, a goal that is always accomplished by asking awkward questions about my past and how I feel. It was pretty much what I expected. She seemed rather...soft. I'm ging back on 7th Oct at 11:00, which also happens to be the first day of fall break. Now I have to tell Da to pick me up later than nusual, and I want to go home!
Granny and Buzz were getting all packed up to leave Wildwood tonight after Buzz watched N.C.I.S. So, by my estimation they should be over the PA state line by now, or almost. Granny said that they couldn't relax or feel comfortable anymore so that's why they were leaving days early.
On the academic front I got a B on my General Psych exam--*pause*--that's a good score--I guess. I really wished it could have been higher, though. Hey, I may be trying hard to rein it in, but I'm still a perfectionist. I cn't change who I am, after all. I had an essay exam in Intro to Lit today and I do believe I bombed. I thought I could do decent essay just on Theodore Roethke's "Dolor" but after I got about half a page down I just blanked on what to say. I basically spun it out for the rest of the page and hoped it was at least semi-decent. I had a flashback to high school today, I was reading the paper and there was this article about a teacher whom the ACLU was accusing of 'misleading and confusing' students between evolution and intelligent design. He came to the courtroom wearing a mouse-trap clipped to his tie--an allusion to 'Darwin's Black Box' the book Mr. D had us read for our A.P. Bio final. He'd be pleased to know that I kept up with science news and remembered the mouse-trap.
I also set up a facebook account and sent out things to add what few friends I have here at Ship and everybody I was friends or friendly with at CCS. It seems like kind of a cool thing, a little cheesy, but cool. And besides, it may help me keep in touch with people I thought I'd never see again, which I guess is a good thing.
On a slightly odder note I called Lia today and she tld me that she's pretty certain she's pregnant again and is trying to get $300 together to have an abortion. I don't necessarily like the health risks it poses, but I understand. She's got enough trouble with Adrian running around (he'll be two in Feb.) and she doesn't have the income to handle another child. Plus, her latest boy toy is turning into a git. He's getting drunk and wasting money, and Lia's a bit brassed off. Now, don't get me wrong, I love Lia, she's one of my best friends, but she has absolutely *atrocious* taste in men.
I ate dinner with Laina and Bumblebee, which was a lot of fun. Then we split up and Laina and I went to see the Rev. Dr. Peter Gomes at Memorial Auditorioum for extra credit for Advanced College Writing. I thought it would be boring, but it was actually pretty funny and thought-provoking. He talked about how the present is the best period in hisory, and yet, quoting Dickens 'It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.' He answered questions after his presentation, and then Laina and I wen to a discussion group afterwards.
So, that was my day, such as it was.