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killing spree


So, I have a boyfriend, which I bet most of you didn't know. In fact, tomorrow would be our 3 month anniversary. I don't really count him as a boyfriend, want to know why? BECAUSE IN THREE MONTHS HE HAS KISSED ME ONCE. Kissed, not snogged, not full on make out, sweet little after-date kiss.

Now this is enough to make me tetchy in the first place, since I went through this phase of but-I-like-GIRLS-and-your-not-a-girl bit, and finally said okay, cause he's a cool bloke, and one of my best friend's cousin. (Most of my real-life friends are boys) So, no big deal, i go back to normal. Friends + boyfriend and i are out at lunch, and waitress has cute arse. I observe, he gets pissy.

Okay, no big deal, though I bitched to my internet wifey about it when walking to the Covenstead for dinner. Its not that he's gay, or finds me unattractive, since he had a raging hard-on when we went to the circuit part, and he picked me up, and unless it was the Degas, he finds me somewhat attractive.

I LET HIM TAKE ME TO AN OPERA AUDITIOn, which if any of you know how crazy I am NOT about my voice, says a lot, but he has not made move one. So he talks to his cousin about us and cousin/my best buddy says this.

Bud: It's Calypso, if you want to talk to her about your relationship, your going to have to stick The Godfather or Boondock Saints on to get her to talk about that shit with you. Or when she's watching the game.

Boyfriend: But I want it to be meaningful

Bud: It's Calypso, she'll squirm and get the fuck out of the room. You can't do that with her, you girl.

So if finding out about this exchange wasn't enough, he starts harping on my internet friends. Mostly Wifey and Evil Twin for 'letting them steal our time'. IT IS NOT STEALING OUR TIME TO TAKE A MINUTE TO REPLY TO A TEXT MESSAGE CAN'T TALK OR BUSY. There's no reason for him to be fucking jealous, as I'm sure if wifey or twin were in the same area and wanted a relationship, they would fucking MAKE A MOVE not act like whingy assholes for three months. Also, I don't want to know how he bloody knows which ringtone is Wifey's, as Twin texts me all the bloody time and even my family knows that one, but SERIOUSLY.

And I know he has a sex drive, I'm friends with his cousin, I've seen his porn stash from before we were dating, so WTF, people? Also, my writing meaning, 2,000 word Mina/Rei pr0n does not invalidate our mockery of a relationship.

In closing



I do not appreciate being harped on. I am cooler than him and deserve your attention too >:|

But that is not helping you. I will admit to just a little bit of surprise that you actually want to shag this guy (haha :|) but I vote you just make a move. Next time he's got a hard on, touch it. Tell him to "Fuck meaningful... literally."

Not that I'd ever have the guts to do any of that if I wasn't drunk (though I appreciate your faith in my ability to make moves! XD), but I wish you luck all the same!
Oh, I made a move. After the circuit party? When we were hanging out at his place? I sat on his lap, IN A CORSET AND LEATHER PANTS and kissed him, and he just blushed and petted my hair.
Ok, he's lame. We're better guys than he is :|

In situations like this, it's best to think about it this way: WWDD? (What would Dean do?)
Give him an ultimatum. "I'm fucking horny, shag me or this is over." :|

I'm giving really weird advice tonight, I don't blame you if you don't take it. Srsly.
I know. Woe.

I'm seriously considering that.

i need a sexy icon to use with this here comment.

P.S. If I was there, I'd offer to make out with you and make him mad jealous. BUT THEN YOU'D SHAG ME INSTEAD HAHAHAHA

... too bad I'm not in PA.

Re: i need a sexy icon to use with this here comment.

Then he'd have a fucking reason to get jealous.


Re: i need a sexy icon to use with this here comment.

tell him i might be coming to PA and he better make his move before then or I will MAKE IT FOR HIM.

also, you can tell him that if he's really cool, we can have a threesome.

Re: i need a sexy icon to use with this here comment.

HAHAHA. OMG, I'm just pissed enough to say that to him. God, i hope he isn't at his cousin's place when we get drunk tomorrow.

OMG, I can imagine his face.

Re: i need a sexy icon to use with this here comment.

Hey, even if I don't manage to get there anytime soon, it might make him put the moves on you, right? Win-win.

p.s. if you can take a picture of his face, send it to me. plz and thx.

Re: i need a sexy icon to use with this here comment.

He moves or I dump. I'm not that nice.

Of course.

Re: i need a sexy icon to use with this here comment.

I find this to be entirely justified. Not nice, but justified.

It's not meaner than him, anyway. Bloody tease.
*stabs for you*

Honestly, I don't get wtf is going on there. But I'm definitely adding it to my list of 'it's lucky I'm not on that continent...'
It makes me all weird and self-conscious and its all squicky. I'm considering dumping. Seriously considering. And the thing is, I'm not all that frustrated when I'm not involved with anyone.
ilu. And, for the record, so not your fault, so no need to be weird, self-conscious orsquicky. Times infinity. No returns. Just for the record. :p